A fresh start: Dating Reloaded

Believe the hype!! Jesus thinks you're to die for! So choose to live for Him. I did. And that required me to live a particular way: with PURITY and HOLINESS. The journey continues.

In my post "Who cares who you date?", I ended off by introducing you to the man that makes my heart skip a beat. Now I want I share with you our road to marriage... I entitled this "A fresh start" because the day we decided to have an exclusive relationship was a fresh start for my perspective of dating. I knew what I wanted in a relationship, but I hadn't quite figured out HOW it was supposed to look. Until now, godly courtship was in my mind but I was yet to experience it.

We met at church while I was home for vac - a great place to meet godly potential spouses. I wasn't necessarily looking at the time since God was still teaching me how to be secure in my singleness. We hung out in the same friendship circles often so I got to witness a lot about his character and personality. My "ideal man shopping list" was tucked nearly at the back of my brain but with every interactive opportunity, I identified an attribute in him that was on the list. I remember thinking one day, "What an amazing man my friend is! The woman who marries him will be truly blessed!" He loved the Lord, loved people, loved life, was warm and sincere, a great listener, a great leader, had a stunningly beautiful spirit. He loved sport and music and dance. I also noticed how he treated his female friends, his mom and his sister. He was always the perfect gentleman. For that, I want to thank the mighty men of valour that walked with him and mentored him. The uncle Mikes and Normans of this world played a tremendously pivotal role in who he is today. Thank you, Father, for these spiritual fathers who groomed him. The more I observed, the more I liked. But I still didn't 'recognise' him. My eyes were on what the Lord had assigned to me.

After being good friends for a year and I had temporarily relocated back to Polokwane, we had the most heeeectically life-changing conversation one day. Long story short (because I want to tell you in person), we decided that we wanted to move beyond being friends. We'd seen enough in each other to warrant desiring a formal relationship which would lead to marriage ultimately. So we told our parents - who were thrilled - and asked them and our pastors to hold us accountable to this courtship. They also taught us how to treat each other.

A few months later, I moved back to Cape Town and we had to endure a long-distance relationship. It was during this time when our relationship was really tested. Our intentions were put through the fire of distance, high costs of calls and temptations. Don't get it twisted - the devil doesn't like godly relationships! So be rest assured that he will bring about all sorts of temptation to cause havoc. We were tested when we were apart and tempted when we were together! That's where accountability partners come in handy. They ask (uncomfortable but necessary) questions and pray whenever they're called to do so. It's like an extra covering of spiritual protection if you catch my drift. By the Lord's grace, we soldiered on faithfully for 2 years until Kgabo proposed. The beautiful story of when and how shall be kept for another day.

The point I'm trying to make is if you want to reap a God-inspired marriage, you need to sow a God-inspired dating relationship. Dare to let God change the way you do things! Let Him lead the way on the journey to the altar.

Mrs DeeDK